Reworking my head, I force myself out of bed. Its been days since I ate, it's been months since I've felt okay. I've been cursed by my instincts, I can't even tell if you're feeling bored. it's something I'm working on, it's something I don't want anymore. Hey, wait, you're already leaving? I wish that I wasn't so awkward. I would ask you to stay, but I'm embarrased. What am I talking about? I can't even afford this. But I still like you.
Well, time tends to pass slowly when you're locked in some summer retreat. All the boys and girl together, tight in their fuzzy memories. And you can't remember the last time you even let go, back then if you couldn't swim with a shirt on you'd go straight home. Because, fuck, you hated everyone in this city. Breath held underwater, hiding your body self-consciously. coke bottles and cigarettes infest these apartment poolsides. right when you get back up for breath everyone is always gone. And you always think it's your fault.